I have a confession, sometimes I need boy help. Well, at this point, its more like man help. There are some areas where it doesn’t matter how smart, strong or qualified you are, if you’re a woman, you’re at a disadvantage. I can do lots of basic repairs by myself. I change my truck’s oil and front brakes. I have installed new light fixtures, outlets and toilets. I can cut a line (in paint terms) like nobodies business. I own and operate 4 drills, 2 circular saws, a reciprocating saw and even a chainsaw. Thanks to my high school life skills class, I can do my own yearly lawnmower maintence. I’m a wiz with my green thumb and elbow grease. All of this serves me very well. I’m proud of my skills, my knowledge and my self sufficiency, but it has also lead me into a false sense of safety.
If you know me, you know that I’ve been working on this new concept… letting people into my house, my space. I’m working on it, but I’m NOT great at it. Right now, I need to get repairs done on my house. I’m working on this too. I have talked to neighbors and talked to contractors. I have even had a few of them over to look at my house and give me an estimate. The last one came highly recommended by neighbors. He looked at the damage and suggested I file a claim with my insurance company. This felt pretty big to me, but he said that he would make sure he was here when the adjuster came to help out. Phew, that felt better… not awesome (cause I hardly know him), but better.
Last week the adjuster came 40 minutes early!!! Some people, most people probably, would be like “oh, good. We can just get this done early.” Not Jessica. I had a minor meltdown. I frantically texted the contractor, letting him know. Then I went outside to chew out the adjuster. “Why even call and set up an appointment if you aren’t going the show up at the agreed time?!?!” The poor guy just looked at me in disbelief as I continued along with this rant. I really surprised myself at just how mad I was. The contractor showed up maybe 5 minutes later and I started to settle down. I even apologized to the adjuster for my reaction… although I don’t think it was completely irrational.
Later, when I tried to figure out where all of that emotion was coming from I realized that I was scared. I also felt disrespected and even manipulated.
So, today I get the claim info back from the insurance company and it looks like it is all going to be covered by my plan. Who can guess how I feel about this??? If you guessed happy and relieved, you’d be wrong. Right now I’m really wishing I had a man in my life. One that could at least stand in as my lover/housemate so I won’t have to meet more contractors by myself. One that could be at the house with me while the contractors and workers are there, while a bunch of strangers are at my house, in my space, near my stuff.
It’s funny sometimes the things that hold us back.